Some Thoughts on Mother's Day and My Misplaced Awe

Today was Mother's Day. It was a beautiful blue skies and sunshine filled day and it was truly an incredible day celebrating with family and friends the role our Mom's play in our lives. I was reminded how blessed I am to have the family I have and for the relationships we share and the memories we get to make together. Today was also the first time I felt more out of place than normal on Mother's Day. You see, today more than ever before, I felt like I wasn't enough because I wasn't a mom. Well meaning people at church casually say, 'Happy Mother's Day, oh wait, you're not a mom yet' then laugh it off without realizing the pain that exchange brings. The waiter at the restaurant who seemed to keep forgetting who the mom's were at our table and needed to ask multiple times. The radio announcers reminding us that it is a day to celebrate Mom's.

All of these are true and all of these are good things to do. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my mom. She is one of the most caring people I know. She continues to serve my sisters and me and is an incredible example of what a God-honoring mom looks like. I want to celebrate her and the gift she is to not only me, but to hundreds of other people.

However, today did not help the battle that rages in my heart. You see, I would love to be a mom someday. I dream and wonder what it will feel like to hold my own little one in my lap and to hear him or her call me mommy. Just typing this I get goose bumps and tears in my eyes. The smell of a newborn baby, the wonder of what and who he or she will grow up to be. And the privilege it would be to nurture that little life to come to know, love and serve God with his or her life. Motherhood is a special gift from God.

I just finished reading Paul David Tripp's book Awe: Why it Matters for Everything we Think, Say and Do. Since reading it, I have been more aware of the things that fill my mind with awe - instead of the Creator filling my mind with awe. I realize that if I am not careful, I can quickly replace my awe of God with awe of self. I too quickly think that the title Mom is something that is the end-goal. That is when I will make it. But really, the title that I know is far more important than the title mom, is the Daughter of the King. Am I worthy of having such title? No. Not for a second. But, God graciously gives us this title and this one is far more important than the title Mom.

I realized today that this day didn't help me keep my awe on God. It was a great day with family and friends, but inwardly, I failed. I mistakenly let my awe slip to the title of mom and off of the title of daughter. I don't know what things you find your awe of self dwelling on, but may this remind you that nothing and no one deserves our awe other that Jesus Christ.

"Awe of God means that God has a plan far bigger and better than any plans I have for myself. Awe of God humbles me. It puts me in my place. It reminds me that I am small, that since I am a creature of One who is far greater, it cannot be all about me." (p.61)

Mother's Day is over and gone with for another 364 days, but let's remember that instead of just picking one day to celebrate the mom's - Singles, Married, Divorced, Mothers, Future Mother's, Grandmothers, Adoptive Mom's, Foster Mom's, Aunts: let's daily strive to be women that have an awe of God that others can't help but see. God is Sovereign and knows the deepest parts of your heart. To each of you as you read this, may your awe be solely focused on God because then and only then:

"(will you) see that you are wired for awe, that awe of something sits at the bottom of everything you say and do. But you aren't just wired for awe. You are wired for awe of God. No other awe satisfies your soul. No other awe can give your heart the peace, rest, and security that it seeks." (p. 12)