One thing I have felt the Lord really working on my heart lately is the concept of contentment. I have been blessed with an amazing family, a wonderful job in ministry, a growing love for my new church family and a beautiful place I get to call my home. Yet, there has been real discontent in my heart and I couldn't figure out why. The longer I am in ministry, the more regularly I am getting people saying, 'Oh I should introduce you to my neighbors Son' or, 'My grandson'...the list goes on and on and it won't be stoping anytime soon. Though these people have good intentions, I have found myself craving that next step in life more than I ever have...wondering why not now?
Instead of being content with what God has blessed me with, I am looking ahead to the next chapter. It grieves my heart that I have not been able to be content with today....this season now because nothing else will ever be the same as this season is. This morning I decided to turn off the phone, tv, noise and sat down and read through the book of Joshua. This was the next book I was to read through and it was so fitting today!! Sometimes I feel like life is such a battle. I come to challenges that feel like I have walked up to the wall of Jericho....where I just have to laugh and say, 'really, God?' Yet, God gave Joshua and the Israelites exactly what they needed to conquer Jericho and THEN some....I know He will do the same with me.
Often, young women in my stage of life say they are in a season of 'waiting.' This has always kind of bothered me...simply because, in a sense, we are all waiting for the place we are in perfect peace and that isn't going to happen until heaven. And secondly, God is using me NOW to do BIG things for His Kingdom. I do not have to 'wait' for God to bring himself glory. I have complete faith that for this season, I can bring Him more glory being single. Something my dad always said was, 'If it is not from the Lord I don't want any part of it...but if it is from the Lord, I want ALL of it.' That is what I am feeling. If it is God's will for me to be a wife and a mom, I KNOW that day will come to pass and when it does, it will be better than I could have ever imagined....just like my job is better than I could have dreamed. But for now, I am resting in the knowledge that I am right where God wants me to be. So, I am going to do my best to live everyday in a complete state of contentment....giving my life to serve Him and bring Him the most glory.
I have a couple hundred kids watching me. It is my deepest prayer that in me they can see Jesus. They can see a complete JOY in what God has blessed me with. I pray they can see my faith in Jesus so purely and that they too have a desire to have that complete peace with Jesus. I am resting today in the knowledge of this:
'Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.' Joshua 21:45.
