6/8/2012
Friday has come and gone. My last full day with my babies is done. It was such a bittersweet day. It was good thinking about the fact that in 3 days I am going to be reunited with friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. And, in 3 weeks, I will be walking off the plane to see my family again! But, it was also deeply saddening because I realized that time with my babies is ending. Three weeks with them was not enough time. It took me a full week to get into a routine and then I had 2 weeks with them once I knew the routine and knew them. It was over in the blink of an eye. Some days felt like they would never end, but for the most part, it flew by....kinda what I was expecting it to.
This morning went quickly with taking Alyssa’s group picture. Then this afternoon we took the kids for a walk down the street to buy juice from a small stand. The juice was so good...it was way too sweet but it was cold and it wasn’t water! I never realized how much I take cold drinks for granted back home...not until coming here at least! I am excited for more cold drinks when I get home!
Today I couldn’t help but wonder if I will ever come back to GLA. Some days were hard and I would answer, ‘no way, it was a good experience but I don’t see that happening again.’ Other days I think, ‘Of course! And for much longer next time!’ But today was different. I didn’t really feel either of those. I wonder if I could move to another country and live in a different culture. If I could get used to limited selections, limited internet access, limited communication with my family and friends or not. It is nice here have internet for so little. It is nice not having cable or a cell phone. My lifestyle in Haiti is much more relaxed. Everyday I sit outside my bedroom and watch the sunset. Everyday I spend hours reading. READING! I have finished all the books I have with me so all I am reading now is my Bible. It is wonderful. I sit on the porch as the sunsets and read my Bible....daily. The thought that THIS could be my life. This, being so close to God could be a reality is mind boggling...and it makes the other things (cable, internet, cell phones) seem so worthless. Sometimes I think that I can do this no problem. Helping children in different countries be united with a family that will love them and provide for them sounds like an amazing life! Other times I think, ‘maybe I will just adopt some children in the future.’ I still don’t know what my future holds. And, for the first time in a long time, I am okay with that. I know God already knows and He has a plan that is better than anything I can imagine. I know that as long as I continue to say yes to his prompting and seek him in my everyday life, then all the questions I have about my future will be revealed to me. God will guide and direct my steps...whether that means ministry in the states somehow or ministry cross-culturally...God knows and He will lead me when the time is right.
I still don’t know if I will ever return to GLA, but that doesn’t need to be decided now. If that is what God has for me then I will be here in an instant. If not, I am ok with that and I know God has other things in mind for me.
Please PRAY with me that once I move on I will be open to what God has for me. Please PRAY that I remember that God has a plan and that I can trust that He will reveal his will for my life. Please continue to PRAY for my babies. 5 of them still are waiting for homes and families. PRAY God would provide for these children and show them his love in new ways everyday.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for wholeness and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me. When you seek me with all your heart...” Jeremiah 29:11-13
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