My Change of Plans...

5/26/2012 

I realize that God has a way of shaping our plans so that we realize He is in charge, but today, I was reminded of that even more. Turns out it wasn’t heat stoke that I got but a 24 hour flu bug that has been going around the staff at GLA. I was running a high fever and was up hourly all night. 

By 4am I was certain there couldn’t possibly be anything left in my system, but I was wrong. Thank goodness the other volunteers I am working with are certified nurses and knew exactly what to do for me. They gave me some Tylenol to try and get my fever to come down and some anti-nausea medicine as well. I woke up around 5am while they were getting ready for the beach. I was so bummed that I would miss out on the beach day, but I just wanted to not be sick anymore and I knew a day of rest was needed. 

I slept till noon or so, catching up on the hours of lost sleep. I moved to the living room and read on the couch while drinking some juice the girls had left me. I was able to read for a bit but dozed in and out of sleep for awhile longer. I ended up going back to bed around 2:00 and my fever was even more unbearable. 

I woke up an hour or so later and felt so much better and decided to spend some time with Jesus. I was starting to feel super homesick. This was the first time that I have felt this the whole trip and I was desperately wanting to just crawl into my own bed and have my parents take care of me. The beach is a good 3 hour drive away from GLA, so everyone won’t be back till super late. A full day by myself, alone with no one but God, for Miss Social Jennica...a near nightmare! 

I read some in Isaiah about how God gives rest to the weary...one of my favorite passages. And I did a lot of thinking. A lot of wondering what God is up to in the story of my life. I think I could see myself serving full time as a missionary if that is where God called me. Could God be calling me to full time service over-seas? I don’t know. I started reading the book, ‘A Praying Life’ by Paul Miller at the beginning of the semester. I picked this book up again and started reading some more. 

A portion of it struck me to my core as it was talking about the fact that Jesus didn’t immediately do what the Canaanite woman with a sick daughter wanted him to. It says: 

“Jesus’ ambiguity with us creates the space not only for him to emerge but us as well. If the miracle comes too quickly, there is no room for discovery, for relationship. With both this woman and us, Jesus is engaged in a divine romance, wooing us to himself.”

I realize now more than ever that as long as I seek God today and what he wants me to do today, then everything else will come with time. It is in the period of waiting. Of wondering. Of questioning, that God is drawing me into a much deeper relationship with him. Causing me to have complete faith that He has a story for my life. That HIS story is better than anything I could imagine. 

I realize now, why God had me get sick today....beach day. God wanted me to realize that I am obeying him. Right now. Where he wants me to be now is serving him in Haiti. As long as I seek him everyday and have FAITH that he will reveal HIS will for my future, I am doing all that God is asking me to do. What about you? Are you seeking God for today? Are you doing all that God has called you to be doing? Are you in a period of complete faith, knowing that God will reveal his will in his time? This is something that God taught me today, being awfully sick in a foreign country. I am now resting in complete faith that everyday God is opening up a new part of himself to me. Showing me a new aspect of himself that I never realized before. I am falling more and more in love with the Lord and I know now more than ever that God’s plan is coming and He is using this trip to show me little glimpses of who he wants me to be. May he do the same for you.