When God moves...HE MOVES!!

It is always a fun adventure when you say to God, 'Your will be done!' This is a brief way to sum up the last month! Tomorrow will be three weeks since Graduation. Graduation week was filled with friends, play, rest and last minute adventures as our days of being Multnomah students came to a close. In the end, we walked across the stage, received our diplomas and then took LOTS of pictures afterwards! Our famous quotation to go along with this picture: 'A BA and a BS but no MRS. It can be done folks!' :) 

I moved home and had plans to rest and play and enjoy time with my family and recover from the last three years. Well, when we decide that we have plans, God tends to laugh and surprise us...constantly reminding us that HE is in control and his plans are WAY better than what we can ever dream up. 

So, May 15th (just five days after grad) I got a phone call from my dear friends Sabrina and Aj. They had a Pastor email them asking if they knew of anyone from MU who was interested in Children's Ministries. They called me, told me about it and asked if they could pass on my name and phone number. I, of course, said yes, but did not really expect anything. Well, not more than 30 minutes later, I got a call from the Pastor telling me about the Church, the ministry and what the position would look like and he asked if I was interested in applying. He asked me to send in my resume and cover letter that night. So, a few hours later (I was babysitting at the time he called me) I sent everything in and could not believe it. He emailed me right back asking if I had a Philosophy of Ministry written up...again, thanks to Roy and our CPD class, I had somewhat of a start on this...I tweaked all the parts that had Roy's famous red marks, and hit send again. The next day I got another phone call and by the end, I had an interview booked and great confidence that God was on the move. In less then 24 hours I went from having no clue this church was around and having an interview lined up and ready to go! AMAZING! 

I interviewed the following Monday. It was a long interview but it was a great time of talking about how God has shaped me, grown me and used all my experiences to bring me to this point now. The interview was intense but it was so cool to see the church, meet some staff and talk about if this could be where God was calling me to serve. The following day I got another phone call from the Pastor saying they really liked me and wanted me to continue on in the interview process. The second and third interviews were scheduled and I was still blown away. 

Sunday I had the second interview, being grilled by a whole team of people I would be serving with was, again, exhausting but exciting. The more people I met, the more questions I was asked, the more excited I was about the opportunity. Well, folks, today was my third and final interview. Another group of people asking the same questions...after meeting the Senior Pastor, I was officially offered the job and I said YES! 

I am pleased to announce that I am going to be the new Director of Elementary Ministries at Highlands Community Church in Renton. I will be overseeing the 1st-6th graders and helping to train and coach the team of leaders along the way. It is a HUGE job and I am so blown away by God's faithfulness in this whole process. A whole string of 'no's' to lead me to this amazing opportunity to serve Him and bring Glory to Him in AMAZING WAYS! Less than a month after graduating, I am starting a job in the field I majored in and I had no idea this even existed 16 days ago! When God wants to move, HE sure knows how and he opens and closes doors along the way! Praise the LORD he knows what we need more than what we want! 

http://www.highlandscc.org

Thank you for joining me in prayer through this process and for continuing to pray the Lord gives me strength, endurance, and a teachable heart as I begin this coming MONDAY. Also, I will be moving to Renton so please pray that God opens up the right doors for an apartment and everything I will need to have my own place! God is so so good!

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen!" Ephesians 3:20-21

The Next Step

Hey friends! I can not believe that I am now just 12 days away from graduating Multnomah. The last few weeks have been somewhat of a roller coaster of emotions. Some days are filled with lots of exciting thoughts about life after MU. I am ready to not have homework constantly hanging over my head. I am ready to have a life outside of being a student, as scary as that might seem sometimes. And, I think the thing I am most excited about is that I can be way more involved in ministry. I can say yes more quickly because I won't have homework. I can get more involved with my church, I can spend more time with youth and kids, which I love. Thinking about being more involved in people's lives makes me so so excited.

But, with that also comes deep sadness sometimes. Multnomah has been my family the last three years. Never in my life have I lived with people my age who are just as on fire for the Lord as I am. I have been living with my best friends, making amazing memories, eating ice cream WAY too late into the evenings and going on spontaneous adventures. I think one of my favorites has been sitting in the cafe and having people come up to me and get into long discussions on how awesome God is and such. Those are memories I will never forget. It is these things, these memories, these moments that are making me very sad to leave this place. I have also gotten very poor sleeping habits lately cause I just want to soak up every last 'hang-out' opportunity I can before graduation! :)

These last few weeks have also contained a ton of life processing. I have now applied to seven different jobs and so far the first six have been no's and I am waiting on hearing back from the seventh. This whole semester I have had to not commit to anything because I might get a job. Unfortunately, at this point, I still do not have a job but instead of focusing on what I don't have, I am choosing to focus on the fact that I get to do AWESOME ministry this summer because of that.

First, I get to go to CANADA with these awesome young women and the other youth from my church's youth group! We will be gone from July 4-15th working at Rock Nest Ranch in Houston, BC. Yesterday I joined them for the all-day training we had in preparation for the trip and it made me SO excited for the trip to come! These girls have had such an impact on me and I have been so grateful for the opportunity to lead these young women to Jesus' heart. I wish I could continue working with them next year, but I am just grateful for the chance to get to serve Jesus in Canada with them this summer!


This summer I also get to help run our Day Camp at my home church. This is something I have helped with the last handful of years and I am super excited for the chance to help again with this ministry. This is what I have gone to school for, I love children's ministry so much and this is something I am so wanting to do with the rest of my life!

Unfortunately, this post is not updating you about the job that God gave me, but it is all about the ministry I get to do and I am SO excited for that! And, if any of you that are reading this are parents of little ones that I have babysit in the past or ever need babysitters, feel free to put me on the top of your list! I would love to take your kids off your hands for a few hours. Really, I would! In the meantime, please be praying as these next few weeks are going to be full of emotions, excitement, adventure and who knows what else. Pray that God continues to give me peace about not having a job and that when it is HIS time, he opens the RIGHT door. Thank you dear friends for supporting me on this journey of college life, you are wonderful!

'It's just the dark before the morning...'

Well friends, it has been awhile since I have updated this so I thought I would write a new post tonight. I feel like a lot has happened since last time, but then I also think that it is all this cycle of trying to figure out life after college and I wind up back in the same place.

I have been looking for and applying for jobs, six now, to be specific. Each time I find myself getting excited and then hearing no. Honestly, with each no it gets more and more discouraging and I find myself wanting to doubt who I am or how God has created me.

The reality is though, the God who created the universe also created me and specifically crafted me for a specific ministry and job. He knows me and my future more than I do and I can rest in the knowledge that he knows so much more. It is in this knowledge that I rest tonight. I find myself in the midst of this doubt but trusting so much that God has something even better than all of the other no's. At this point, it is harder to imagine that God has something even better than this. As I sit in my room on a Friday night watching a movie, I am filled with peace knowing that I have a huge adventure ahead, beginning in 36 days. Who knows where I will end up, and I am choosing to let that unknown fill me with excitement instead of anxiety.

This morning at work I was listening to the radio and the song 'Before the Morning' by Josh Wilson came on. It was a new one for me but it felt as if God had that song play specifically for me. I am choosing to use this song to help remind me of my new perspective. Things may seem a bit dark right now because of the unknown, but there is a morning coming and there is an adventure for me.

I can not wait to inform you all of what that new adventure is. In the meantime, please pray with me that God would continue to open and shut doors and that I would be patient and trust in a faithful God. My prayer now is that God would place me where I can serve Him best. Where God can use my gifts, talents and life experiences to serve Him most, wherever that might be! Until next time...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mfWAG-bnttQ

Grieving for Jesus

Whenever I find myself really struggling through a week, I always seem to need to take time to process through a blog post. So, that's what this is...me processing through yesterday...a physically and emotionally rough day.

This past weekend I was able to go home and be with my family. We also had to move my Grandma from her assisted living home to the memory care facility because her mind is so gone. Thankfully she still remembers who we are but a lot of the daily tasks of life she doesn't remember. The older she gets, the harder it gets for us, her family, to see her go through this process. She cries easily and every time I say goodbye to her I see the tears in her eyes and she whispers in my ear, 'I love you so much and am so proud of you.' Every time it gets more and more real that each time could be our last. It's something that both her and I am aware of and it just keeps getting harder.

Yesterday in worship chapel I lost it. We were asked to write down things that we thank God for. Attributes of God that we admire or am thankful for. I wrote Grandma Swanson (not really knowing why) and the tears came, slowly at first, then waves.

After shedding lots of tears in the middle of chapel, I realized that I had never cried like this over the fact that Jesus died for me. My grandma has been highly influential in my life and loves the Lord so much, I admire her greatly. But, the person that lived a perfect life, died a totally un-called for death, I had never grieved for. WOAH. Then the reality of that hit me like a ton of bricks. Jesus died for my sins, so I would never have to be separated from him. Why have I never thought of this and grieved!? We grieve the deaths of grandparents, parents, friends and even animals but have we ever taken time to grieve Jesus' death? This was just something I began processing yesterday.

As we approach this Easter season, I am now in this grieving process, not because someone in my life has passed away, but because the Creator God sent his Son Jesus, to die for me. He died. Then, three days later he came back to life and overcame the fear of death. He beat death. That is something that no one can do. We are often told to dwell on the fact that God came back and was raised again, but I challenge you, dear reader, to let yourself think of the death that happened. Jesus died for your sins and mine. Grieve this and remember that we are so unworthy, but still He loves us.

Where Do I Go From Here?

As I sit at my desk writing this new post, I look outside and see the sun streaming through the branches that grace the grounds of sketch park. The building is silent (for the most part) since students don't come back until tomorrow. I eat popcorn and soak in all of THIS. My last dorm room. My last few scraggly 'meals' before the cafeteria food begins again. Another semester is approaching...but it is also the last semester of my college career. 

I can hardly believe that I am very close to my college days ending and wondering what I do now. Fresh graduate. Nearly broke. Single. Where do I go? Or better, where does God want me to go from here? I know that when we have nothing we rely most on God for his peace and comfort and guidance in the midst of the unknown. That's where I seem to find myself these days. Months away from moving out of the dorms, college has made me poor with the thoughts of upcoming students loans, yet an overwhelming sense of peace and knowing that God has me right where he wants me...in this unknown...it is teaching me to trust in his provision in ways I have never had to trust before.

The purpose of this post is to reflect on where I am at emotionally...I find that I can put my thoughts into written word much easier than spoken words. So, I am going to share my main 'options' and I would ask that you please join me in prayer as I seek what and where God is wanting me to go. I am confident that He will open the doors that he wants and he will give me just what I need...but I also need help and I need serious amounts of prayer! I am so blessed to say, "I have options...the sky is the limit" and so on...but it also makes it harder to decipher which is THE one God is calling me to. 

One option is moving home. I can live with my parents again and pick right back up at the Y teaching swim lessons and I can look for other jobs as well. This would be great because I would be home again, with my home church family and I can babysit all my little kiddos that I miss so so much! 

A huge part of my heart is calling me back to Haiti. Back to my little ones I love so much. A part of me is wanting to see if I could live in a third world country forever. Six weeks was great but not long-enough 'to know.' If that even truly exists. All I have ever wanted to do was be a mom and in Haiti, I was. I held and rocked babies, fed them, snuggled them through tears and bad days. Taught them to walk, sang to them. I fell in love. My heart is longing for this again. I don't know if this is a real possibility or if it is just another 'maybe'...but either way the thought is running through my mind. 

Another option I have is staying in Portland. This one seems the 'least likely' option but it is an option none-the-less and I trust that if this is what God wants for me, he will show me that. 

Also, at our All-School Retreat in September, the guest speaker was a pastor from a church in central California. Long story short, we got talking and he suggested I contact them about a possible internship at their church working in Children's Ministry. This is also a possibility. 

As of now, I have contacted this pastor and am in communication as to what the 'details' would be. And I am praying hard and praying fast that God will provide for me both financially this semester and on as well as provide clarity on where he is wanting me to go. It is a really strange place to be...job-less, nearly broke and months away from a huge life transition. I find comfort in knowing that as I continue to seek God, He will continue to make clear my path. 

Again, please join me in prayer. I don't know where God is wanting me to go, but I trust that everything will become clear 'in His time.' I can not wait for the day when I can look back at now and say, 'I get it. It all makes sense. God WAS working.' I KNOW He is and I KNOW he knows where He wants me. I am clinging to this truth and trusting that God is going to do something huge. 

Ecclesiastes 3:11 - 'He has made everything beautiful in its time.'

Goodbye 2012

Again, it is December 31st. Another year gone, but what an amazing year it was! In January, we said goodbye to our cranky cat Kuddles (yes, I realize the irony there). He was our first pet so it was sad to see him go, but knew it was time. 



In May, two new bundles of joy joined our family! Charlie (orange) and Sophie (black) are full of energy and are so much fun! We have had lots of fun with the 'kitten stage' despite the number of broken decorations now! 


The highlight of the year for me, was spending six weeks in Haiti this past summer. As many of you know, I spent three weeks working at an orphanage and then three weeks teaching English in Port-au-Prince. Little did I know when I left home how quickly I could fall in love with being overseas. The weeks went by so fast and my time in Haiti ended. At the time I was grateful to be home, but I realize now, six months later, that a little bit of my heart is still there and I am a very new person. I have been told that, 'my eyes sparkle in a new way when I talk about my little ones.' They sure knew how to steal my heart! 

In case you didn't catch this on Facebook, here is a little video I made of my trip, giving you an idea of what I did (above)! 

This summer also held the weddings of two of my best friends. In August, I stood by her side as Chelsea finally married Jamee! The wedding was a beautiful warm day just north east of Vancouver.

Just a few weeks later, two of my other best friends, Sabrina and AJ tied the knot in Medford, Oregon. This might have been one of the best weddings I have ever seen. Sabrina and AJ love the Lord so much and it was BEAMING out of them on their big day! It was the hottest wedding I have been to, being in Southern Oregon in the fall, but it was gorgeous! 

This fall also included being able to finally live with my third best friend, Larisa! We had many late night chats, ice cream runs, movie dates, Friends & Crocheting evenings and some studying too! She finished in December so she had to move out unfortunately, but I am so grateful for the time we did have and will hold these memories so close to my heart! 

This New Years Eve I am thanking God for all that happened in 2012 and can hardly believe 2013 is here! I graduate in exactly 130 days and I am so excited! I have absolutely LOVED college and my time at Multnomah, but I am ready for a break. Not ready to move out of the dorms and the community, but ready to be done with homework! 

I have no idea what will be happening once I graduate. And, I am ok with that. Sometimes it is nice to not know what God is bringing next…it helps me stay grounded here. Please do pray with me as I seek what God has for my future. I will write another update soon with more specifics but for now, I am resting in the unknown. Here's to 2013 being a year of blessing and adventure! 

It's October already???

Well I have been meaning to do a blog update about life but things have been nonstop and I finally have time and thoughts so here goes my attempt...

I have officially been in Portland for 8 weeks. Since August 14th, life has been NONSTOP. Sometimes I feel like I tend to be a tad bit over-dramatic, but seriously, this time I am so serious! The first few days back were full of unpacking and catching up with friends from school. Then we had our All-Leadership Retreat, which was awesome! Then we came home and had a few days of training and prepping the halls for the arrival of our students! Then we had New Student Orientation weekend which I love because I love meeting new people but it gets a bit tiring after several days. Then we had a week of school. Then our All School Retreat at Washington Family Ranch in Antelope, OR where we rested, played hard and spent time in the sun, pool and with friends. Then we had our second week of classes and then my best friend got married in Medford, OR so I spent a long weekend doing that and all that weddings entail. I came home happy but exhausted. The 6 weeks had finally caught up with me. Just when I thought I was about to get a break, I was thrown into a few intense weeks of being an RA. Sometimes I have this feeling where I think to myself, 'right now, I would love to not be an RA so I could just shut the door.' But, in the end, I am so grateful for how I got to see God work in the situation both in this students life and in mine as well. He was and is always faithful! 

Through the midst of this, I kept saying, 'I just have to make it to Mid-Semester Break!' Well, God had other plans. October 4th I got sick. I was VERY sick. I had a fever of over 100 for 4 days. Had everything from vomiting to chills. From headaches to a runny nose and everything in between. I spent 4 LONG days in bed. Doing NOTHING. Trust me...I love being productive so I tried hard. I tried homework, reading, movies, music, facebook, knitting, journaling, writing notes and the list goes on and on and on. Nothing worked. Everything simply made my pain worse. So, I spent 4 days in silence. Laying still in my bed. I shuffled to the bathroom when needed but other than that, I didn't leave my bed. The first few days were very uncomfortable. I realized I don't like sitting in silence. I don't like the feeling of me doing nothing. I was getting restless but forced myself to stay put. God was giving me the rest I so desperately needed! 

The last few days of my bed rest I spent time reflecting. The movie reel in my head played movie after movie of memories of Haiti. Me with my babies. Hearing them giggle. Hearing them cry. Watching them play, walk, sing and clap. I saw my students. My flirtatious students...I remembered how embarrassed I was at first, and how I got over it. I remembered my lessons I was teaching. The way my students would sing, 'Oh Be Joyful' over and over again and their beautiful voices. I remembered walking the streets. Beginning to try out my Creole. I remembered the mixed feelings of coming home. Most of all, I remembered what God taught me in Haiti. 

I had the privilege of speaking in chapel on the 4th, the day I got sick. I can only thank God that I didn't get sick before this! I got to share stories of what God did in Haiti. The whole time I was preparing, I felt as if there was one message God was wanting me to share with the students...but I think He wanted me to remember that lesson myself more than the students.

I talked about what it looks like to depend on God. In the midst of Senior year it is so easy to think ahead to graduation. 7 months from today I will walk across the stage and my time at Multnomah will be finished. I have no idea what I am doing after this. Am I moving back to University Place? Maybe. Am I moving to Portland? Maybe. Am I moving somewhere else? Maybe. Will I go on to do more school? Maybe. Will I just get a job and work some? Maybe. There are so many unknowns and thoughts that I have flying through my head. This weekend of being sick, God wanted me to remember how I depended on Him in Haiti. How He put the desire in my heart. How He opened every door along the way. How He went before me, with me and behind me in Haiti. Why am I so quickly to doubt? The final lines I gave in my speech in chapel are still echoing through my head and it is giving me the hope I need to trust God.  

"Do WHAT God is calling you to do, today. Be WHO God is calling you to be, today. Just trust God with the rest...You never know the kind of adventure He is waiting to take you on."