Preparation day: Success!

Today was a full day! After being up late last night coming home from school, we were up this morning and hit the ground running. After stops at the bank, target and ross, we made it to Costco to get supplies for the Orphanage. 



Our needs: Diapers, baby wipes and children's
vitamins. God put it on the hearts of many people to give to my trip so I was able to spend about $500 on supplies for the Orphanage. Just in case people were wondering, $500 worth is a LOT of diapers! This is what one of my suitcases looks like and I have an extra large duffle bag full as well. 


Besides the diapers, Dads Rotary club donated some french/english dictionaries for me to take for when I am teaching english in the second portion of my trip. The box of 24 dictionaries in underneath the pile of diapers in this picture. 


After shopping for supplies and cramming them into my suitcase and duffle bag, we came back home and finished unpacking my car. It is super hard to pack everything, unpack and then repack in such a short amount of time. By the time we were done I was tired of packing and I did not want to do anymore! We got everything finished around 6:00 tonight and it was just a matter of last minute details. Fortunately I have been keeping a list going for the last week of things that I need so it wasn't all up to me remembering today. 

The entertainment from today came from our two new kittens, Sophie and Charlie. They were into EVERYTHING. Trying to pack everything and keep track of all the small items was crazy because these two thought that all of my things were their jungle gym or new toys. I would set something down and come back for it a minute or two later and it would be gone. Sounds frustrating I know, but seriously, with how cute these two are it made for a fun day of play and productivity! 


To top the night off we had a family outing for ice cream to celebrate me being done with school and our last and only evening together as a family before I take off. It's so hard to believe that tomorrow is the day. The day I have been waiting for for months is finally here. I could not be more excited! I can't wait to see all that God is going to teach me in my 6 weeks in Haiti and I am glad you are joining me along the ride. Please pray for safety in my travels into Haiti, that is my biggest point of fear and I am ready for that to be over and for me to actually be present in Haiti. Until next time...

Just wanted to check in and update everyone again. Today was exhausting, it consisted of a date to the waffle window with Kenzie & Larisa, some last quality time before summer begins. Baccalaureate chapel and lunch then onto packing my whole room up and loading it (almost) all into my car and saying goodbye to my junior year at Multnomah. It is crazy to think that another year has flown by so fast without me even realizing it. This time next year, I will be graduating and not moving back into the dorms. That's just sad to think about.

Saying goodbye to Junior year made me think again how quickly time goes. How fast things go by when we don't even realize it. This made me realize that my time in Haiti is, 6 weeks yes, but that is going to fly by as well. I might just blink and it will all be over. My prayer now is that I will enjoy each and every moment of my time in Haiti. Not wasting anytime while I am there and that I choose to have a good attitude and love my babies and students each and everyday.

Then I got to thinking, how much we waste our life. Before we know it we will be gone. Earth is our temporary home. God did that for a purpose. We aren't gonna be around forever. So, why do we so often live like we are? It is my hope and prayer that spending time in Haiti makes me realize this in bigger and better ways.

Time. Something we often take for granted can also be our worst nightmare. What are you going to do with the time that God is giving you to live for him? It is my new challenge to take every day for what it is worth and to 'live it up' with no regrets. No regrets.

In 43 hours, my flight takes off for Haiti. In 992 hours, my flight from California will land in Seattle and my adventure will be over. Please pray with me that I learn to understand time. And to not take any of it for granted.

What am I going to do for the next 43 hours? Well, I need to unpack everything, then repack, going to the bank and a few other stores, go shopping for diapers and flinstones gummy vitamins for children and hopefully get some sleep too!

Thank you so much for all your support you have poured into my life and my trip to Haiti. I could not have done it without such faithful and loving family and friends!

What's YOUR Impact?

This past year, I have been working with the youth ministry at my church. I have co-taught Middle School Sunday School and I have lead a small group of 8th grade girls for youth group. For anyone who has ever worked with middle school, you understand the ministry...the tough nights of disrespect, flat out ignoring whatever you are saying, and not finding what you are sharing important. Honestly, some nights I walk away saying, 'What am I doing here?,' or 'this is such a waste of time...they don't even care.' Tonight, I was completely blown away and it was as if every frustrating night I have had the last year was totally erased in one evening. Beyond the challenges of the pre-teen stage, God is doing amazing things in the lives of young people. He is walking them through tough transitions where their bodies are growing and developing. He is challenging them to be their own person and to take their faith as their own instead of their parents. It is a struggle to find that middle ground of feeling like a child still, but realized the independence they are slowing gaining control of. 


Tonight, I said my goodbyes. This time, saying goodbye was even bigger. They won't be able to just text me or facebook me whenever they wish. Being in Haiti will mean less contact. And not only that, when I get back, I am going home for 6 weeks. That is a whole 12 weeks away from my kids. During our small group time tonight I threw a party for my girls. I figured since it was our last night it would be special to have treats and just some fun times. Little did the girls know that I was surprising them with something else...


Something I have learned about myself, this last year specifically, is that God has given me the gift of encouragement. I LOVE to encourage people. I think that in our society we do not vocalize our appreciations of the people in our lives; those so important to us. We tend to just think, 'oh, they know how I feel about them,' but really, DO they know? How would they know how important they are if you never tell them? With these thoughts running through my mind, I decided to take a moment and appreciate each of the girls...individually...by name. At first, they weren't sure what the heck it meant to appreciate someone. They thought it was a joke. I said, "I know you struggle with hearing truth about yourself at this age. So tonight, I am going to speak truth to you. Each of you. And I want you to listen. Please listen to me."


As I appreciated each girl individually, the room gradually grew more and more silent...(which is an INCREDIBLY rare thing with my girls, especially after we had had brownies, cookies, mountain dew and sour candy). They were listening and not only that they were blown away that I had noticed them. Individually. I pointed it out. It bonded us. Instantly. 


After the night was over, Leanne took some time to pray for me. She asked 3 students to pray for me and to my shock 5 of them volunteered! (Our middle schoolers are cautious to pray because they don't want to do it wrong or something....) So, having 5 of them volunteer was huge and it already made it special. Each of them took turns to pray. They prayed for my safety, for my health and that I would come back to them! They wanted me to come back to them! After a year of wondering what I am doing and if it is even worth it, they wanted me to come back. Tears began pouring down my face, partly because I was realizing that Haiti is just 4 days away, but also a wave of sheer proudness was coming out. I couldn't believe it. After they prayed, they saw me crying and came running to the front and dog piled me. My middle school kids...surrounding me in pray, love and hugs. I really cried at this point. They gave me individual hugs and each said goodbye to me, in their special way...I was making an impact. 


This was just another lesson God wanted to share with me before I go to Haiti. I am going to Haiti in 4 days and I could not be more excited. I realize though that I might not see the impact I am making. I may wonder if it is even worth it. I might even think the whole trip was a waste of time. But I know now that the little things we do, the time we spend serving, God is working in hearts and in lives way more than we can ever see with our eyes. I have no idea what will happen in Haiti. But, I am confident that even though I may not see the outcome, I know God is working and for that, it is all worth it! 


So, next time you are discouraged that something isn't going 'super great.' Or, next time you are discouraged and wanting to give up on someone or something, ask yourself, 'what is my impact?' Will you allow your slight frustration and discouragement to stop you doing ministry and serving others? Or, will you use it as a challenge to trust that God is doing something you can't see? I know my response...what's yours? 

"I will Follow"

I figured it out! I found a song that is meant for me during my time in Haiti. I was listening to my pandora station on shuffle this afternoon as I packed and this song came on and I knew God wanted this one to be my song. For some reason at THAT moment it was as if God was saying my name and calling out, 'this is for you Jennica.' It is exactly where I am in my walk with the Lord. Surrendering complete control to the Lord and trusting He will guide me as needed. The song was 'I will Follow' by Christ Tomlin. In an interview, Chris Tomlin explains the story behind this song. 

'Isn’t that still what it means for anyone to follow Jesus? It means that we lay down our own agendas and hopes and dreams, and faithfully obey day by day. It’s a daily dying to self—the crucifying of our own petty and self-centered desires so that we might more clearly reflect Christ to the people around us. In the end, it’s not about bravado and bold statements. It’s about simple, ongoing obedience to the words of our Lord. To say “I will follow” is really not so different from saying “Help me every hour to die to my own desires, Jesus, so that you can live more fully through me.”'   

(Taken from http://breathecast.christianpost.com/Christian.Music.Artist-Chris.Tomlin/Article-203_4506.htm)

This is what my trip to Haiti is all about. Me surrendering all of my desires, my own hopes and dreams so that I can be in line with what God's dreams and desires are for my life. I can't wait to see what God is going to teach me through this trip. 


Here are the lyrics...I will never hear this song again without thinking of Haiti...


Where you go, I'll go 
Where you stay, I'll stay 
When you move, I'll move 
I will follow... 

All your ways are good 
All your ways are sure 
I will trust in you alone 
Higher than my side 
High above my life 
I will trust in you alone 

Where you go, I'll go 
Where you stay, I'll stay 
When you move, I'll move 
I will follow you 
Who you love, I'll love 
How you serve I'll serve 
If this life I lose, I will follow you 
I will follow you 

Light unto the world 
Light unto my life 
I will live for you alone 
You're the one I seek 
Knowing I will find 
All I need in you alone, in you alone 

In you there's life everlasting 
In you there's freedom for my soul 
In you there joy, unending joy 
and I will follow

A Lesson on Patience

After last nights' blog post, I read something in a book that really spoke to me. It was a reminder to just be patient and trust God with out futures, even though we don't know what it will look like or what it will entail. I find that, especially as I get closer to finishing college, people are constantly asking me, "what are you going to do after you graduate?" or "will you move home or stay in Portland?" I realize that these questions are fairly worthless at this point and things can change, and that the people who ask these questions are not meaning to pressure me in anyway. But, these questions none the less make me feel slightly impatient. I want to know now where I will be going. What it will be looking like. And what my future holds. This quote challenged me so much to remember to wait and be patient and I thought it was good enough to share with you all as well. 

"You must choose to wait patiently for God's best. If you have seen patterns in your life that show a lack of patience, commit yourself right now to waiting for God's best. You may pray something like this: 

Lord, you are my sovereign God. You know all about me and love me more than anyone else ever could. You know how I feel, what I need, and what my future is. I confess that I have taken matters into my own hands. I confess to being afraid of totally trusting You. Today I commit myself to focus on You and Your love for me. Today I commit to look to You for my future-not to my outward circumstances. Thank You for knowing how weak I feel, but being strong for me and in me. I love You. I choose to trust You."

God is teaching me to be patient. Patient for Haiti. Patient for Graduation. Patient for post-graduation and whatever that includes. Patience. Patience. Patience. 


In the midst of the unknown, God is good. God is faithful. God will give me patience if I ask him to. Tonight I took my first dose of Chloroquine, my anti-malaria medicine. The semi nauciousness was just another reason for me to feel like I am impatient to go. However, I do know that once I get to Haiti, I won't want it to end. It's hard to believe that in 6 days I will be headed to Haiti and one week from today I will be meeting my babies for the first time. 


Please pray with me for patience. Patience in waiting for Haiti to come. Patience in Haiti. And Patience for my future in learning what God has for me. I know he will guide me as needed and He will give me those answers when he wants me to learn those. Until next time...


"Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Psalm 27:14

One WEEK!

One week from right now, I will be in the air, on my way to Miami to catch my connection flight to Haiti! I can't believe that this is actually going to happen. I feel like it has been such a process getting to this place. Something cool I have been thinking about the last couple of days is just how much God clearly opens and shuts doors in our life. Sometimes we get in this panic of thinking, 'I need to figure it all out myself,' or 'I need to do something in MY power to take care of this particular situation.' These are so commonly thought but they are lies that Satan wants us to believe. That we don't need God to figure things out. We can take care of everything ourselves. I am reminded of John 15:5, "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." This reminds me that I am going to do this in Haiti. I am going to be the hands and feet of Jesus for the people in Haiti. God is working in my heart big-time already, and I am traveling with Him and Him alone. Apart from God, I am NOTHING. 


Tonight, (instead of studying for my final in the morning) I pulled out my old journal, from back in October when I first thought about a mission trip to Haiti. Back then, I was a little over a month into school, with no idea what God would do in my life the following few months. My journal reads this: 

"Father, I don't know why but today suddenly I had this burning passion to go on a mission trip to Haiti. God I pray you would make it clear if and when you want me to go. God, I pray that if this is from you that you would continue to put it on my heart. God I trust you and I will go whenever and wherever you lead me! Please just give me wisdom, guidance and a continued passion to love the World...YOUR world! I love you." 10-9-2011

Back then, I had no idea that I would actually pursue a trip this big. This monumental. This life-changing. But, like I said God opens and shuts doors and leads us down the path he wants us to go. His guiding hand on my life is so evident and I know that his hand is on me as I go. 


Just 10 days later, my journal reads this: 

"God, I pray that as I continue on in school, that you would continually make me aware of how I can live more like you. God I thank you for the heart you have given me for Haiti. God I am pursuing this ministry out of faith that this is the summer you want me to serve you in this capacity. God I don't know if this is a one time only trip of if this is a glimpse into what my future will look like. But God, despite the unsureness, I trust you. If you want me to serve you full time as a missionary...I WILL GO. Without a doubt, I will do whatever you want me to do. I pray you would provide opportunities to learn about my future and I pray you give me the ability to trust in you and your timing." 10-19-2011

I am amazed at God's answers to pray in his providing me the opportunity to serve him in this way to the people of Haiti. I can't wait to see what God is going to do in and through me in Haiti. I can't believe God is providing me the opportunity to serve Him in this way. All I know is that I am not doing this alone. God is going before me and is my strength. Without him I am Nothing. 


Studying through the Pauline letters in Acts-Philemon, I am reminded again just how much we are called to thank the Lord, and be grateful in all circumstances. He is the provider of strength and provides peace for when we are fearful. Even if we might be scared or nervous about where God has us. He knows where we are. He has us where HE wants us. THIS is the place God is wanting me to be. I am confident that if God doesn't want me here, He will guide me in a different direction, because he has done so in the past. Thank you God that we don't have to do things ourselves. You are in control. You are the ruler of my life. Show me where you want me to be and where you want me to go. I will do it! 


Philippians 4:4-7: "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understand, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." 

The Countdown is ON!

Three weeks from today I will be experiencing my first day of work at the orphanage! I will be getting introduced to my kids and will be settling into what my temporary 'home' will be. It feels surreal that I am actually going to be doing this in just a few short days. I am so excited to go meet my kids and see what God has in store for me.

This morning I sent in my money to the orphanage. My flights are booked. My immunizations have been taken care of. I have purchased new shoes, new skirts and medicine in case I get sick while I am in Haiti.

The list is still long with things I need to do. Many 'little' things still need to get taken care of but they will all come together. My biggest prayer right now is that I can focus and be HERE. With school wrapping up, it is easy for me to just look straight to Haiti and wish it was the 20th already. But, I realize that God has other things he wants to teach me in the days and weeks leading up to Haiti. My prayer is that I can finish strong this semester and not get too focused on Haiti.

I also found out that when I go to teach with CrossWorld, I will be teaching the Advanced English class to the Seminary students. This was definitely a God thing. I will be arriving June 11th to teach with Mason & Lauren. They will have a Haitian teacher teaching the Advanced class but He needs to leave on the 15th for another conference. So, I will be arriving and shadowing him teaching for a few days then I get to take over and teach the class myself! Part of me is terrified but I have been speaking english for 20+ years now so, how hard could teaching it be, right?

People have asked me how I am feeling about leaving. That is a tough question to answer because my feelings about it change daily. There are two main feelings I am having. On one hand, I am stoked to go. Wishing I could leave tomorrow. Anxious for this new adventure begin and excited for what God is going to do in and through me. BUT, I have just the opposite feelings as well. When I sit down and really think about all the implications of what this 'adventure' will entail I get anxious and terrified. I have never flown by myself, anywhere, let alone out of the country. I have only been in Canada and Mexico, which are basically the same thing as America (with some differences). And I need to figure out customs and security in a new country with people that don't speak english! Ahhh...my heart beats extra fast just thinking about it right now. But, like I said it is a day-by-day thing. Whenever I am feeling super anxious about it I just remember that I am not going alone on this adventure. God is right there with me and already knows everything that is going to happen. That is my comfort. God is going to Haiti before me and with me. With God's help I can do this.

God is doing so many amazing things in my life and in the lives of those around me. I am learning that God really does put things on our hearts for a reason. Some things he wants us to learn and other things we won't know the purpose of; but God is good. God is sovereign. God is loving.

Please pray with me that I can stay focused at Multnomah and not get so caught up in Haiti mode. Please pray that all the last minute details will come together. And with that update...let the countdown begin: 20 days left! :)