A Surrendered Life

This week I had the privilege of sharing with a youth group in Portland about Singleness. I was a bit taken aback when I was first asked because no one talks about Singleness...who was I to share my story when I feel like I am SO not good at trusting Christ. I quickly, though nervously, said yes and I had no idea what God would teach me in the process. 

We often wait till we are 'there' to look back and learn what God is doing. This time, I wanted to think about what God is doing while still on the journey to surrender. We each have things we long for and have to let go of. For me, that looks like the desire to be a wife and mom someday. For others it could be a job promotion, the new car or nice house. Trusting God with your kids - when you first give them the keys to your car. I realized this week that we all have those 'things' we long for and dream about and have to surrender to the Lord and what His plans entail. It's a life-long journey of surrender.

This week, I got to celebrate and remember God's faithfulness. He has blessed my socks off with the life He has given me and who am I to say that that isn't enough because it isn't what I plan and what I want. I shared an excerpt from my favorite children's book, Hinds Feet on High Places by Hannah Hurnard. This is a story of a young girl named, Much-Afraid. She is on a journey following the Good Shepherd and how He promises her to take her to the High Places. This excerpt is in the chapter entitled: To Full Surrender. 

"This time, instead of just laying down her own desires, Much-Afraid laid her whole self on that altar. She gave her crooked feet, her twisted mouth, and her fearing heart. She gave all her hopes and dreams for ever getting to the High Places. She gave all that she was and all that she would ever be. There came a flame from somewhere that seemed to burn deep within her heart. A beautiful sense of peace filled her and she fell asleep." 

This week, I was reminded that God doesn't just ask us to give Him our plans and hopes for the future. Though this is true, there is so much more. He wants us to surrender our lives...our hearts because only HE can hold them perfectly under His control. To surrender our whole selves to the good good Father we have. 

I was recently at a wedding where the Maid of Honor shared an encouraging text the Bride sent her. I asked for it after and now have it posted in my house. The two were talking about the lack of good Christian guys around...the Bride texted this: 

"...I know there are adequate reasons to be cynical of the Christian men arrayment. HOWEVER...is the supply really the issue?! Is God not powerful enough to bring us men out of thin air if He wanted?? He is....What is He trying to teach us by this? We may never know...but I do know that He is not a with holder of good."

That last sentence...not a with holder of good. Amen! How true is this?! God really does have our BEST in mind...thus allowing us to know that we CAN surrender or whole selves to His hands and it will be better than we could imagine. A song that I have listened to almost daily the last few weeks - Casting Crowns - Just Be Held - is a song that I now use as my reminder to Surrender. 

A reminder to trust God with tomorrow and just be held today.  

May it be your reminder today, as well.

Being Confident in the Calling

This week I was asked a peculiar question by someone..."Jennica...you are young and single...how long are you REALLY going to be at Highlands? You can be doing anything you want - you can go wherever you want, do whatever you want, how long are you really planning on staying here?"

Hearing this question got me thinking. My life today isn't anything like I thought it would be - I never would have guessed that God would allow me to do my dream job right out of college. During church this morning - one of the points being made was: Take courage in your Calling - Trust what God has entrusted to you. I am regularly humbled by the fact that God chooses to use us in our brokenness to share God's Word with other people. He entrusts us with the message - confident that we will get the job done.

I have no idea what God has for the future...I don't know what tomorrow will hold, or next week, next month or next year. But, I do know...that I am confident in what God has called me to. God has given me a deep passion to invest in the next generation and I want to do all I can to fulfill the task God has created for me.

God so clearly brought me to Highlands and I am so thankful for how clear that call was. I am starting this new week with a deeper sense of rest than I had before. I want to be able to say at the end of the day, that I did all I could to fulfill God's call on my life. I love the life God has blessed me with in Renton and I truly could not imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else at this point in my life. I am thankful for how God shut so many doors to lead me to this place. He is good. His timing is impeccable.

In Acts 20 it says:

But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.

We don't always get what we want, when we want it....but that is such a gift!! He knows us deeper than we know ourselves...and for that I am truly grateful. I want to do better at more quickly turning to dwell on His faithfulness and celebrating His grace.

My friends, in a world where it is so easy to compare oneself to another - where we see the 'happy faces' on social media...where we are always trying to do bigger and better things - where the grass is always greener on the other side - be confident in the message and calling God has given YOU.

That calling is only yours and it is beautiful! 

A Valentine's Day Post

Every year, this holiday rolls up and I find myself again and again pretending it isn't so. Pretending that this day isn't really coming up and I am still single. I avoid the grocery stores like the plague because of the nausea that screams in my face the second I walk through the doors. The commercials and radio advertisements and all the reminders that Valentine's Day is happening is so loud I can't go an hour without being reminded it is coming.

This year, I am seeking the Lord to teach me about what it means to surrender my hopes, dreams and life to Him. To the author of the world and the giver of life - to Love Himself. I knew that in order to have a good attitude today, I needed to not be at my house by myself. So, I decided earlier this week that I needed to go on a hike with Jesus - that is where I sense his presence closest with me. When I can tune out the noise of this world, the lies that try and creep their way into my mind, thoughts and heart. I put on my earbuds and turned up my worship music and we took a hike. Just after I got started this song came on - Good to be Alive - I started singing along and knew it was going to be a good day! Look it up - it's a good one!

I made it to the top and found a cozy spot and pulled out my Bible. I am working on reading the Bible through chronologically and it is FASCINATING. If you haven't read the Bible through this way - start now! Every time I read through there is something new and this time things are jumping off the page at me and I am so in love with the God who created all of this.

I am currently in 2 Samuel; 1 Chronicles and the Psalms. It is neat to see David's prayers in the Psalms as he leads the Israelites through to the Promised Land. Each time a new nation comes up to conquer, the Israelites say, 'No way. God can't do this. We must return to Egypt.' They overtly disobey and don't trust the God who PROMISED them to get to the Promised Land. I feel like I am so quick to have the same attitude. I know God has given me more than I ever could possibly deserve, yet I have moments where I doubt His leading in my life. I want to be married someday and have my own family, that isn't happening yet and I so quickly fall into the same trap as the Israelites - believing that I can do better myself - failing to recognize all that God has given me. In this weeks reading, I came across Psalm 84:10-12.

"For a day in your courts is better than a thousand elsewhere. I would rather be a doorkeeper in the house of my God than dwell in the tents of wickedness. For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold from those who walk uprightly. O Lord of hosts, blessed is the one who trusts in you!"

So many times I have seen this verse be taken out of it's context to be given as encouragement to people that God will give you something good. It is a pretty powerful statement, but when we read it in the order that it happened, Israel is turning their back, going from one sin to another, not trusting in the Father, then seeing Him provide and protect for them. When I read this passage this week, in this context, I was stunned. There is SO much power behind that. Even when we fail to trust completely, when we think we can do better than God Himself, he will bring us back, forgive us and give us His blessing and His goodness. What an amazing God!

At the top of the mountain today I got to witness an engagement. A young couple came to the top and I could tell the young man looked nervous. He was fidgeting and looking around - he looked at me and smiled and I knew what he was about to do. He got down on one knee...gave her a little speech then pulled out a little black box. My heart was beaming with love knowing that I was getting to experience this moment with this couple. Though I still dream of the day that some man might get down on his knee to ask to spend the rest of my life with him, I was reminded that God has already done that for me. That kind of love, that full commitment, the ALL in kind of love. Jesus did that for me when I asked Him to forgive me of my sins and to be my Savior. And, even better, earthly promises say, 'till death do us part.' My love with Jesus isn't that at all. It is at death that we will truly be united - with no fears, questions, or tears - I like that part!

Tonight, I am going to bed in awe of God's steadfast love for me. He is the one that loves us fully, perfectly and unconditionally. I am so thankful for this kind of love and that we get to experience a small taste of this love on earth. So my friends, enjoy this day. Celebrate with the ones whom God has brought into your life and thank Him first and foremost for each of those people and for the fact that He gave His life so we could live forever with Him. That is a love we will never understand!

Jesus, help me to walk uprightly and trust you completely!  

You can see the couple there - just to the right - just after they got engaged. Blessings on your marriage, strangers! :) 

A Year of Surrender

As we step into another new year, I always like to take some time to reflect on what God has done in the year and what I am looking forward to God doing in the next year. This has always been a value of my Dads and something our family looks forward to every New Years Day: Chinese food and sharing what God is doing. This year, I have met a gal named Lauryn - she is my BSF leader and I am so thankful God put me in her group. She was sharing with us that her family does something like this every year. They each pick a word they want to grow in that year and they pray about it, seek it in the Word and learn as much as possible about that one characteristic. She challenged us to do the same starting this fall. I LOVED the idea and decided to pick a word for my 2015. 

After much prayer, thought and journaling, I decided that God was putting on my heart the idea of SURRENDER. For me, I LOVE stories. I love reading stories, listening to stories but even more telling stories - I even themed my whole dorm section in college around the idea of stories! I love the art in this form of communication and I believe that stories are one of Gods greatest ways of communicating truth to His people. However, because I have such a love for stories, I find myself striving to create and craft my own stories for my future. What I think should happen and how I think it should happen and sometimes worse...when it should happen. I recognize that I am failing to surrender myself and my future to our perfect Savior who is a FAR better story teller than I will ever be. 

We live in a goal-oriented world. Goals in and of themselves aren't bad, it is important to set a target and have something to look to.  However, for myself, I have sensed my goals slipping to expectations for myself. I had expectations of where I would be at this point in my life. What I would be doing for a job and where I would be living. The life I have now is no where near what I ever thought I would be doing (at least at this point) ha! I never would have imagined God would be putting me in full time Children's ministry at this age. I never would have imagined I would have my own place and would be living on my own and paying my own bills. What a surprise God gave me - and huge blessing!

For 2015, I am asking God to help me surrender my future and my desire to write my own story. God is a far better author than me - he has already proved that in more ways than one in my life. I hope for this year to more regularly be living in my today. To stop crafting what tomorrow will hold and surrender my hopes, expectations, dreams and desires to Him - because they are all a gift from Him to begin with!! 

I am so looking forward to this year and all that God will do in my heart, mind and life. AND this year I FINALLY get a brother - I am looking forward to that quite a bit too! I challenge you to think of what God is wanting to teach each of you this year and dive into the Word to discover what God has for you in that. So far, my favorite passage on surrender is found in Matthew 16:

'Then Jesus told his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his Father, and then he will repay each person according to what he has done.'

 Join me as I seek to surrender my story and my future to the perfect Author. Blessings on your 2015!!

A Tribute to Dad...

It's Dads birthday this weekend and I have been reflecting on the gift God

My First Wedding

gave me by allowing me to be his daughter. All these thoughts have been whirling around in my mind and I decided it was worthy of a blog post to celebrate His special day. 

Dad...this is for you, 

Growing up I never realized how blessed I was by having the dad I did. He sure set the bar high for any future man by being an amazing husband to my mom and an amazing dad to my sisters and me. He held us when we cried, through sobs of incoherent blubber, he brushed our hair and always told us we were so beautiful in our little dresses. He put up with hairspray, nail polish, chick flicks and boy talks - and still does! 

Dad's Birthday

Dad taught me how to drive, including letting me purchase a stick shift I didn't know how to work...and graciously let me ride when I broke down in tears - then took me out for ice cream. One of my favorite memories of my dad might have come during my junior year in High School. It was softball season. As I rounded the corner of 3rd base after hitting my first home run, I saw Dad in the stands with both arms in the air and the pride on his face...I could hear his voice cheering me on. This picture is locked into my memory and will never go away. I had never felt so on-top-of the world. He was committed to being at almost every softball game, track meet and swim meet including all away games; band concerts, parades and football games - all while pastoring a church. Family was his priority - we felt that.

Graduation 2013

Dad has taught me the importance of humility and what it looks like to be a life-long learner. We graduated last year just 6 days a part. Him with his Doctor of Ministry degree and me with my Bachelors. Dad has instilled in me a deep love for Jesus, a desire to commit my life to sharing Christ with the next generation, a love for kids - including a a childlike joy - and a fiercly competitive nature.

I will be forever grateful for the influence my Dad has had on me and on so many others - I can only pray I can keep this legacy alive. Dad, I love you more than words can describe and I am so grateful God made me to be your daughter. Happy Birthday!!

About that competitive nature...

Love,
Your Jenna girl

**Disclaimer: I know I have friends who do not have this kind of relationship due to loss - the affects of living in a broken world. Might I encourage you with the knowledge that Almighty Father has CHOSEN YOU. "...even as he chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him...." Ephesians 1:3-14 -- Look up the rest, then commit it to your memory...it's gold. 

Thankful for the friendship we have...<3

A Journey with Jesus

It is that time of year where rain is creeping in and fall is taking over. Any outdoor adventures are soon to be a thing of the past and not likely for another handful of months...so I had to sneak in another one today. I ventured out this afternoon for a local hike. Many people had been telling me about this one so I had to try it out. I think one of the reasons I like hiking so much is that it is a real life example of what it feels like to journey with Jesus.

This was a monumental hike for me...one where I experienced Jesus closer than ever before. My first hike by myself. Yes, I know that isn't the smartest idea on the planet, but I was told it was a safe one and I had food, shelter, pepper spray and a whistle should anything happen (Mom, you can lecture me later). I found this little cross etched into a tree about a mile in and I knew that it was going to be a good date with Jesus.

Today's hike by myself consisted of me and Jesus having conversations all day. Doing a hike alone made me think of what my life feels like as a single person - wishing I had someone next to me to journey through life with, to share experiences with and to laugh with. Every switchback I came to, I kept thinking this HAS to be the last one. I must be getting close. But, around every corner, there was another corner and another and another.

The further I climbed, the less city noise I heard and the clearer the sky was getting as I moved toward the top. Each new curve reminded me of the things of life that slow us down - those things that distract us from where God wants us to be. There were moments hiking up that I felt there was no way I could keep moving. My feet felt heavier and heavier with each passing step (it doesn't help that I did a 3 mile run last night so I started the day sore).

About halfway up I came across this beautiful bridge. Up until this point, it was a pretty steady climb up. Hitting this bridge was a reprieve....a little place to just stand and watch the creek below. See the water moving, see the birds flying from tree to tree. It was a little gift from God. I think in our daily lives, God gives us little gifts here and there but we are so often too busy to see those. Today, His gifts were much clearer.




 By the time I got to the top, I realized just why the rest of it was worth it. It was easy to forget what I was thinking, why I was climbing higher and higher. But once I hit the top, I took a deep breath in and was instantly reminded. As I journey through this life, though I dream of the day I get to journey with someone else, I realized today that God has me on the exact path He wants me to be on. I need to remind myself that every set-back, every unexpected turn and every "mountain" I am climbing, I am simply climbing to where God is calling me to go.


This year in BSF, we are studying the life of Moses. We are reading through the Exodus right now and I have been learning things I never realized. Reading things that I KNOW I have read many times, but never REALLY read. "God SAW the people of Israel - and GOD KNEW." Exodus 2:25 - God knew the Israelites were living in bondage, living as slaves to the Egyptians. Then a few verses later, "The Lord said, "I have surely SEEN the affliction of my people who are in Egypt and have HEARD their cry because of their taskmasters. I KNOW their sufferings and I have COME down to deliver them out of the hand of the Egyptians...." Exodus 3:7-8 Today, I remembered that God hears my cries, he knows my deepest prayers and HIS plan will only be revealed in His time. God is a God of detail and intentionality and I know He is working out all of the details of my life for His glory and my good. What a mighty God we serve.

One Year Already!?

Friends!!! It is with overwhelming delight, excitement and pure amazement that I can finally say I have survived my first year at Highlands. It was a year ago this weekend that I was finally able to announce to you what God called me to after I graduated and I wrote my MUCH anticipated blog post announcing that to the world. For those of you that haven't read that or met me after-the-fact you can see that blog post here.

The last week I have been spending a lot of time processing and praying through what it is that I have been feeling most recently. If I had to sum up all the lessons God taught me throughout the year in one big word or theme, what would that be? After some deliberation, prayer and reading through my journal I have decided that that one big lesson this year was TRUST - knowing that God was in control but letting myself trust Him in that and relying on Him to be my strength. Reading through Matthew this year with BSF, I was struck by chapter 14 when Jesus calls Peter to walk on water. I have read this passage many times before but this year that changed for me.

"...He said, "Come." So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water and came to Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, "Lord, save me." Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him saying to him, "O you of little faith, why did you doubt..." Matthew 14:29-31

Now, I am not saying that my job is something as monumental as Peter walking on water. But, God did ask me to 'come.' To step out, in faith, to something WAY bigger than me...just as Peter was asked to do. As soon as Peter took his focus off of Christ, he began to sink. He saw the wind and was afraid. This year I have learned that when I have taken my focus off of Christ, that is when I started to fear, to doubt, to question, to believe I couldn't possibly be good enough, or do this well enough to make it worth it, or believing that this really was too good to be true.

God has taught me a ton this year, I have been humbled in more ways than I realized I even needed to be humbled, I have matured more than I thought possible for a 12 month period and the things I have experienced in this year have been incredible. All of these make me so excited to keep going. To have more experiences than most my age, to fall even deeper in love for Jesus, to continue to discover that He has made me for this purpose for such a time as this to share Jesus with hundreds of kiddos.

After all of this I can't WAIT to see what God is going to continue to do with and through me this coming year. This year more than any, God reminded me that He has a plan for my life, a good and perfect plan that He will bring to fruition...in His timing and His way. This year the song "Oceans" by Hillsong became popular. Morri shared it with me in one of my more tear-filled days and it instantly struck a chord with me. THIS is the song to finally put words to what I have felt this year has been. If you haven't heard it before, you can listen to it here.

Thank you to those of you who have walked this year with me. For those that prayed for me, that let me cry and cry some more, for the hugs, dinners and encouraging smiles. For correcting me when I mispronounced or got the wrong name and to those who answered my hundreds of questions. And thank you, in advance, for continuing to give me grace in the above areas. :) I honestly couldn't have done it without you...thank you for loving me so well! Here's to MANY more year anniversaries!